Monday, September 29, 2008
Why men do not exist
Current mood: lonely
Category: Romance and Relationships
On Aug 28, 2008 9:09 PM I wrote a comment to my friend Ivy* in reply to a comment she sent me asking to explain why men are needed. The next day when I saw her she asked me where I got this list because it was really funny. Thing is, I didn't "get it" from anywhere, except my brain (it was a clearance sale - great bargain!) So here it is for all the cool people, who missed it the first time:
So I have determined why men exist. This is because ...
1. Most women do not own stock in a battery company. ;) buzz buzz
2. Most women do not enjoy taking out the trash. Ick
3. Most women do not enjoy sending themselves flowers. "Yours Forever?" "Love You Always?" Yeah, right.
4. Getting a hug from a female friend/relative is not the same as those fulfilling bear hugs you can get from a guy. Plus they can't crack your back right.
5. Getting you hair brushed by a guy is all of a sudden much more sensual. Your "buzz buzz" just doesn't cut it sometimes.
6. Walking hand-in-hand with a guy makes you feel special and cared for (especially those guys with big hands, you just feel tiny sometimes.)
7. They won't criticize you no matter what. "You are wearing THAT?"
8. They will always try to make you laugh. Especially if you're crying… guys hate seeing tears.
9. They balance us when we get too emotional. Most of the time they will TRY (maybe) to stop you from getting into a cat fight with that other chick over that ____ (fill-in the blank). Unless there is mud/jell-o/nakedness/oil/etc involved, then they may shove you in.
And the most IMPORTANT reason why men exist:
10. They will do anything to make you and keep you happy, feeling cherished, and loved.
But this only really applies to those nice guys… and they are an urban legend anyways… They don't really exist.
2010 Note: Can you tell I was a cynical single woman in her late 20's? I was. I now have an urban legend (they really do exist!) that lives with me... yup - that's right, you remembered! The fiancee. ^_^
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
oh man... i just had to comment on this and make a why women exist! (please take no offense, and look into the pure humor of my overly sarcastic ways)
ReplyDelete1. because it's not going to suck itself.
2. who doesn't like getting married to a dish washer? :)
3. most men don't like finding other men to call on the weekends. that's just gay.
4. there's just something about a woman playing with your "ghoulies" in the shower that you can't do...
5. because we like getting slapped when we fart around the girl. other guys usually just run or deliver unneeded comments. we know it stinks.
6. letting her play with the butter maker at the movies makes going to the cinematic adventure a 'xxx' scene all the kiddies around can see.
7. because wearing that skimpy outfit makes us want to stay home. (i mean, seriously!)
8. am i the only guy that thinks tears are sexy? no, i wont induce them, but it's the next best thing to make-up sex!
9. we're usually the reason for the fight, and usually the reason for the fight to stop unless we don't want it to stop because there is a getty or a loot party online. but i mean, seriously. if you would have just cooked it a little bit less, this conversation would have been over yesterday! (but i still love you!)
And the most IMPORTANT reason why women exist:
10. they will do anything to make you and keep you happy, feeling cherished, and loved. (wow, it's like we had the same answer here)
[please note: i do not do this in reality, i just have a weird sense of humor. -but the flatulence comment is valid]
I think this comment is really funny and I totally expected a comment like this earlier than now. However, funniness aside, I would like to make a comment about this comment and all comments hence forth (and posts too, I guess):
ReplyDelete1. Please no snide/snarky/rude comments about sexual orientations… because that is so straight.
2. Let us not use “too obvious” words when making innuendos – it takes the fun out of it. Plus I do not want to have to put an “adult content” warning when you enter here it scares the parents/adults (go figure).
3. Prequarius – I want to know what your soon-to-be-fiancée thinks about this “comment!”