2008-9-27 - Rock the Vote!: What should Lisa do with her life?!?!

Saturday, September 27, 2008
Rock the Vote!: What should Lisa do with her life?!?!
Current mood: restless
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Arrrgh!!!!

Life is great. I am alive (without support), I have a job (I do not necessarily have to love it), I have my family and friends (thankfully in small quantities), and I am going back to school. Yup, that's right. I am going to take the GMAT on Oct 31; the GRE Dec. 16; and the LSAT Feb 7. I am just going to take all three... Why the hell not?!?! I have NO BLOODY CLUE WHAT I WANT TO DO ANYWAYS!!! See, it goes like this:

Forensic Anthropologist: This was my original major back in 1998 (I was a junior in HS and read a book by Kathy Reichs; the show Bones is based on her books). I would receive someone's bones, figure out sex, age, height, race, possible cause of death, etc. I help the police/law enforcement solve crimes. I actually LIKE working with bones: I got the top score in my Junior year Bone Identification Test (I had to name every bump, hole, striation mark, etc on the bone itself). Plus I am not squeamish, so if there is some dead tissue on the bone - so what? I have to go to the crime scene? - so what? I have dissected cats, minks, and assorted animals. Plus, most of you know, I have no compassion WHATSOEVER. So it's not like my "emotions" will get involved... Now why it did not happen: I suck at math. I failed Algebra the first time I took it at UCF, during my first semester. I had to take it again (for the grade forgiveness) my LAST semester at UCF - yes, I was putting it off 'till the end. Then my second semester I took statistics - then promptly dropped out. WOW, I honestly did not see that coming/realize how difficult it would be for a math retard like me.

So I switched my major to history - math problem solved.

Curator for Ancient Greek and Roman Art (CAGRA): This is my most recent "dream job." I would love to be the one who chooses which pieces would best fit the exhibits in a museum dedicated to Ancient Greek and/or Roman Art. I could also work for a specific exhibit and travel the world with it, displaying it to the world and educating the uneducated masses. I LOVE ART and I LOVE ANCIENT GREECE & ROME!!! Did I ever tell you that I was a personal tour guide in Rome and Greece one summer?? So, I was with my folks and brother… it still counts! I was the one who set up our itinerary - where we were going to go, do, see, etc. I CRIED as we drove into Rome… do NOT tell anyone that!!! (It's just between you and me.) I also like working in museums, I worked at the one at UCF - so I worked the reception desk - they only had "modern art" anyways… :/ and it was by STUDENTS at that! But a CAGRA can look at a piece of art, and know (very much like a Forensic Anthropologist) the date the piece was made and found (if it was lost), who made the piece (if known), what it was originally intended for, and the current value of the piece. The CAGRA would take a bunch of pieces and put them into an exhibit based on a theme, and figure out how to stage and place them for optimal viewing so it all works together. But this requires multiple degrees (masters and doctorates) and then I have to wait for someone to die. You see, there are not many positions available to be a CAGRA. When someone gets this position they hold onto it for dear life. I would also have to move. The current collections of AGRA are in NYC, Chicago, LA, London, Italy and Greece. There are also a couple of spots in France, Germany, Spain, Turkey, and North Africa. So I either freeze my ass off/die from smog inhalation, or I also have to learn new languages and get a visa. So, as much as I love school, this career will not give me good enough odds to help me payback any/all student loans I need in order to get this education in the first place.

The next couple are recent ideas that I have been throwing around with different people:

Business - Human Resources: I will never NOT have a job. All companies need/have this position in this day and age. I would basically have the power to hire/fire/place harassment claims for a company and it's employees. I like the sound of this. This is probably what it would feel like to be God. No one would dare piss me off, and if they did get the cojones to do so, *snap* they are gone. I also like to work with people - believe it or not… as long as they do not piss me off.
Nutritionist - I am currently a Weight Loss consultant… Not much more training/education needed… Also, I do not have to worry about making a "sale," I would be there to help people lose weight. I would be my own boss. I like this more and more as I think about this. I could open my own company with a business degree/nutritionist degree (I would probably have to wait a bit after leaving where I am now of course), but it would be my place, my rules, my clients - and I can tell these clients to go screw themselves if they do not listen to me!! :D I like it… in theory. But I just might end up working for a Dr. dealing with a stinkin' insurance company.

Research Attorney - I frequently joke that I could in no way be a lawyer since I have a sense of humor. Nevertheless, this type of law I could perchance do; without feeling like a shark in a suit with a VERY nice car. Consequently, I would either help other attorneys or clients find information/ previous case files. Whether it be online, in a stack of paper, in another state or country. Know what I mean? However, res ipsa loquitur*, my whole family is a bunch of lawyers, and I already know a lot of Latin (hello, history major remember?)… So this also makes a lot of sense. Get it?

Journalist - Apparently, I also like to write a lot of nonsense, so a position at the Miami Herald would be perfect. I could write entertainment pieces: go to fabulous parties/fundraisers/events and clubs, and share the information with the uneducated, unglamorous masses, who are stuck at home doing really horrible jobs wishing they were me.

Meteorologist/Weather Girl - I am cute, I like to smile, I can read maps and teleprompters and point at blue screens. Are there any other requirements?

So, now you see my dilemma? Help me, so I can possibly help you in the future; whether it be finding out who killed you, educating you about ancient art, hiring/firing your ass, helping you lose weight, finding your filed divorce papers so you can marry that next sugar daddy, giving you the good gossip, or making sure it doesn't rain on your parade.

So vote now; and save our world.

Love,
Lisa

*It goes without saying. Please note: that whole paragraph, I made it as convoluted and confusing as any hopeful/future lawyer could make it.

2010 Note: No one actually voted, except my brother and one friend. *Sigh*
But, since this time I quit my job at the Weight Loss Clinic, talked to some journalist professors at FIU, looked into copy editing, took the GMAT and GRE (yeah, not the LSAT – sense of humor remember??), applied to FIU for the Museum Studies Program and guess what! I got in!! So I am aiming for my dream job, grabbing it and choking it to death so it never leaves me. I am actually designing a museum!!! Floor plan, staff structure, mission statement, everything!!! If anyone with a lot of money and dreams of a classical museum in Miami is reading this, let me know!!! I will be your #1 gal! Also, I am going to be a volunteer at Vizcaya!!! Yeah, all my classes at in museums and I will be working in one too!! I want to thank that pesky fiancée for helping me do this too. He is the best guy EVER!!