2008-9-24 - Quiting the Ciggie...

Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Quitting the Ciggie...
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Life

The epitome of the "Love/Hate" relationship.

You love them because you do (and have NO IDEA WHY). You hate the way your breath smells/tastes in the morning.

You love them because they go SO GOD DAMN WELL with ANY beverage you have: liquor, beer, coffee, water, red bull, fruit juice, chocolate soy milk (what do you want from me first thing in the am?). You hate them because if you are low (i.e., have one left) you will put on clothes, drive 10 minutes, walk into a store, buy 2 packs (you don't want to get low again), drive 10 minutes home (bloody stop lights), have five, then crawl back into bed; because you did this at 2 am on a Wed night.

You love them because they help give you quick little breaks through-out the day (avg an extra 30-45 minutes of not working/day). Hate them because they are a high-maintenance relationship. They will drive you broke - think: avg $4.50/pack: if you smoke a pack every day you spend approx $1,638/year. Now if you are one who can easily smoke an extra 2 packs when you go out drinking (it's called chain-smoking) tack on another $468/year - and that's only if you do it once/week. Yeah that's over 2 grand/year on ciggies.

You love them because it gives you something to do (i.e., when driving, reading a book - I would walk in and out of the house and read a whole book and smoke a whole pack of ciggies, a way to escape your folks/chores, etc.) You hate them because in today's world you are a social outcast. I have missed huge chunks of parties/weddings/events/ because I would be outside having a smoke (or 1,000 - if there is alcohol flowing) and forget the laws that restrict where you and your little buddies can go. In some places you can't even have a ciggie with your Murphy's Stout (its a VERY good beer - go out and try it) in a pub or on the front portico of the pub!

You love to hate them. You hate to love them.

As of August 26, 2008 I have not ENJOYED a single ciggie. I will admit I have had a drinking moment or two where I will have a puff, and that's all. Because after that puff I feel disgusted. Not only with myself and my drunken foolishness, but to my stomach. Now I will definitely also mention that in no way was I able to do this on my own. That I have tried and failed, multiple times. I actually asked my Dr. about Chantix. I will not mention more on that due to the risk that I will sound like an advertisement. But hey... I found a pack in my car, and threw it out without even checking to see if there were any inside. I write this for my friends and family and acquaintances for fun, to explain where I am coming from/going to, and to subtly (though not anymore) ask for their support. However, I refuse to be a "born-again-non-smoker." THEY ARE HORRIBLE PEOPLE; they know what it’s like to be a smoker, stop acting so freaking' high and mighty. So go ahead, if you smoke, I know what it’s like, light up. Just don't offer me one.

PS Note:
My father just pointed something out (he falls into that horrible BANS group) I wrote this, not only because I feel accomplished with quitting, but because I have THE TIME to do it. I too have noticed this. I sometimes definitely feel at a loss at what to do with myself. I will (please do not laugh) find myself aimlessly wandering through the house, LOOKING for something to do. I have recently found myself not so much just reading (although I still do, ALOT) but I will find myself playing on the computer more often. One day I actually re-organized MY ENTIRE ROOM/CLOSET/PAID BILLS/MADE A CALANDAR (on Excel)/WATCHED SOME TIVOd SHOWS AND DID 2 LOADS OF LAUNDRY - all of that in 7 hours!!!! Including eating meals, etc. I probably NEVER would have done ANY of that if I smoked... Because I would've been in and out of the house smoking and reading a book. Now, on the downside, I have also found myself hitting up the fridge/pantry a wee bit more than normal. Not because I'm hungry, but because I wander through the house aimlessly and since my house is almost circular I constantly pass by them!! So I make pit-stops. Ugh. So that's another thing I am keeping an eye on, but hell, I'm only up 2 pounds. Still lookin' good.


Note: After I posted this I did start smoking again at the end of October. I know, I am a fail bot. But in April of 2009 (like a week before my birthday) I did stop again. I would like to thank my now fiancee (he was my boyfriend then) for helping me stop again. and chantix. ^_^ And I am up 10 pounds and still looking good. Even if the jeans are a bit tight.