2008-10-24 - Superlatives

Friday, October 24, 2008
Superlatives
Current mood: uncomfortable
Category: Blogging

In 8th grade, you know how they vote for superlatives? (look it up in the dictionary Pac*) I was voted "Most Witty," or "Wittiest" if you prefer. Can you believe it? I sure as hell cannot. "Most Witty" is a very serious charge to be accused of - if a stranger heard that I was "Most Witty" they would automatically visualize that a person talking to me would have issues in trying not to pee on themselves; or a person reading a story/blog of mine would be laughing out loud with tears streaming down their face. However, we all know this is not true (especially me - I WISH it was, it would give me entertainment right back). If you do not, you do not know me very well. In person I actually seem like an airhead… I am easily distracted when I tell a story, my mother hates it when I try to tell her how my day was! I constantly digress and go off on random tangents that have NOTHING to do with the story at hand. I easily forget what I was saying so I often repeat myself. In short, I seem like I should ride a short bus, or lick windows while wearing a helmet.

Now, with that said, I think I am to SOME degree humorous TO OTHERS. One might even crack a smile when I say or write something. Mostly when I write something… However, "Most Witty" I think not. I, personally, think I AM THE funniest person alive (except Pachi, and you are welcome for the compliment you dork). When I tell/write down stories/blogs I DO laugh out loud. I constantly think and tell my folks that they should get a MyS* page just to subscribe to my blog because IT JUST IS THAT FUNNY. Now, I know that all of you out there do not think so (except one of you and you know who you are - so you are exempt from this semi-blistering, rather cool, very little sting set-down) only one person has subscribed! But now I have a question: Since September 23 - ONE MONTH AGO - I have had 147 views to my blog. Who are you people?

Is TV that boring this season that you have nothing else to do? Is the economy that bad that you do not want to go out and pay to see a movie, let alone buy the gas to get you there?? Therefore, the only thing you have available to you is to read my blog?? Read Sweet Melissa's - hers are funny and usually relatable. Mine are selfish pieces of verbal vomit. Are they not? I have my parents read my blog before I post them to see if they are OK, every once in a while I will see a smile crack through (you know, the usual). Usually when I read my own blogs I am laughing so hard I have tears streaming down my face… Wait a minute… Maybe I was not being complimented back in the 8th grade… maybe I was being mocked? Middle school kids ARE rather mean. Oh jeez… Um… Please disregard and forget this blog. I believe it has lost its relevance.

2008 Note: I probably won't write anymore blogs… I don't know what's wrong with me. THIS entry was the ONLY one my dad laughed out loud to… and it was only when he read the licking-windows-wearing-helmet part… sigh.

2008 Comment to this post by a good friend:
Ok I have several points to make here so let me gather my notes, give me a second.....

Alright, I'm back.

Point 1: Don't stop writing blogs, it's a great outlet for personal expression. I like writing blogs myself on occasion, and I personally enjoy your recent blog activity. They're very well written and insightful. And for the record, I did laugh out loud! You know!

Point 2: You're funny as hell. Wit and humor go hand in hand. F what anyone else thinks, everyone has their own level of sense of humor. So if they don't laugh, it doesn't necessarily mean it's not funny. Like in movies for example, some people laugh at slap-stick type of comedies, while others enjoy a well written comedy that requires some thought . In laymen's terms, some people laugh at stupid stuff and others require more than that to have a good laugh is all I'm saying.

Point 3: The definition of witty is as follows; Possessing a strong intellect or intellectual capacity; Clever; amusingly ingenious; Full of wit; quick of mind; insightful; in possession of wits. I, for one, think that suits you pretty well. Particularly when reading your blogs. But to leave it at just 'most witty' as a sole defining term for you, eh, it doesn't really do you justice. You also should keep in mind that seeing as how 8th graders presumptively don't really know a god damn thing about wit at their age, I think said election might not have been as accurate as we had all hoped.

Point 4: 147 blog views in the past month isn't really that big of a deal considering the fact that millions upon millions of 'mys*s' are out there and your profile/blog is set to private, so, you do the math. However, since I'm a huge nerd I did the math for you and it turns out that according to how many friends you have, that would mean that each one only looked at it once or twice.
[I feel special now! thanks!]


With that being said, trust me, your blogs are not verbal vomit. Although for editing purposes, I think the correct term is verbal diarrhea lol. But yeah hon, I say keep 'em comin'. It's actually refreshing to read a real, honest, entertaining blog about someone. As opposed to the myriad of facade-donning, herd-following idiots that take up precious space on mys*'s servers with their meaningless crap.

So whilst you think of what to write about in your next entry, I'll put on my helmet, join you on the short bus, and we'll lick us some windows! :)



2010 Note: Obviously I cannot help myself. I REALLY love my blogs... all 12 of them (yeah I know I am missing some - I chose NOT to post them). I also kinda miss writing to no one and everyone. The internet is such a huge place and everyone is so small compared to it. I just hope that between school, wedding planning, my volunteer gig and being a fiancee I can do this without too much drama. Ugh.... I HATE drama.